Babywearing Beyond Infancy

We're Babywearing Wellington, but we've been around for well over a year now, and our babies have grown up a lot in that time so we have a bit to say about how wearing an older baby or child differs from wearing an infant and why you might want to consider it.

Emma wearing 2.5 year old Leith in a woven wrap

My son will turn 2 next week and I've been wearing him since he was a few days old. When he was little, babywearing was very useful to me, but as he got older and more aware it became a joy.

One of my favourite memories from his first year is from when he was just over 6 months old and I had him on my hip in a ring sling. We were walking through town and he was looking around at the world and then turning back to look at me with a delighted "Did you just see that?!" look on his face. It was lovely to be able to share in his developing awareness of the world, and that's one of the beautiful things about wearing babies and kids who are awake a reasonable amount of the time. They are getting to see the world from you level, where all the exciting stuff happens, where they are part of your interactions and conversations. You also get to talk to them about what you're both seeing. And, when it all gets too much, you're right there for them to snuggle into for comfort.

One of the reasons that a lot of people with small babies don't envisage wearing them when they get bigger is that they think they're going to be too heavy. My son is about 14kg, so he probably looks gigantic to those with little babies. If someone were to wear him for the first time now they'd probably struggle a bit, but I started wearing him when he was 3kg and have been wearing him as he's grown, so my strength has built. It is a pretty good workout, to be honest. I can no longer wear him all day, but he wouldn't let me, anyway.

These days I don't wear him much around home, but he does sometimes get pretty clingy when he's tired, sick or teething and wearing him allows me to get things done while also minimising tantrums and meltdowns.

Many parents still find it helpful to wear their toddlers to help them get to sleep, but unfortunately it's incredibly rare for me to be able to successfully transfer him out of the carrier onto the bed. He'll occasionally nap on me when we're out, but I'll admit that that is rather tough on me physically, so I try to avoid it.

More often I wear him in public.

He likes to walk places these days, but he gets tired easily so it's great to have a carrier in the bag for when he decides to sit down in the middle of the pavement. It's a lot easier to cart around "just in case" than pushing an empty stroller (unless you're picking up groceries, in which case a pram can be pretty handy). We use public transport a lot so I definitely don't want to wrestle a stroller on and off the bus when we might not even need it.

It's also great for when he refuses to hold my hand and I don't want him running off. I can put him on my back or I've been known to tie one end of a wrap around his waist and use it as a leash!

Many carriers are suitable for carrying larger kids but ones that can be used for back carries are ideal. Carrying a heavier child on the front of your body can be very tough on your back, and as they get taller they are more in your way as you have to reach around them and peer over them!

There are two common kinds of carrier I wouldn’t recommend for carrying larger babies, neither of which are suitable for back carries. Mainstream frontpacks are designed for babies up to a year old but many find them uncomfortable well before then. Stretchy wraps tend to sag a bit with a heavier child and are rarely wide enough to support the back of a taller kid.

SSCs such as the Ergo or Manduca are a popular choice and most of them have a weight limit of about 20kg, which could be around 4 years or older. They're also quite quick to get on and off so can be good for a kid who wants to get up and down a lot or for putting them in it quickly when you're out on the street.

We have started using a Mei Tai recently and have been enjoying it. It's not quite as quick to put on as an SSC but it's easy to wear higher up to let the wee bloke see over my shoulder and it folds up smaller than our SSC if we're carrying it "just in case".

Our personal favourite is the woven wrap. I learned to do back wraps from Emma about a year ago and it's been brilliant. It was a bit of a learning curve but we soon got proficient with rucksack carries and I can quickly get M high up on my back where he can see the world, talk to me, kiss me and rub food in my hair. We find our Storchenwiege particularly supportive and I feel very confident about carrying him in it, despite his ever increasing weight, as the fact that it is one piece of fabric means that there is no stitching to possibly break or come undone.

Though one shoulder slings like ring or pouch slings can be quite tough for long periods with a heavier child they certainly make things easier on your arms for quick carries. They fold up small to fit in a bag and they're quick to pop a child in and out of, so can be a good option to have around for your toddlerwearing emergencies.

On the road with Miss Nearly-Three

by Isa

“I like the bus” says Miss Nearly-Three as we walk to the bus stop. “You don't have to click me in on the bus”.

And I agree with her. The bus is great. As it turns up around the corner Miss Nearly-Three starts waving. And then she greets the bus driver with a cheerful “Hello”, before racing along to find just the seat for her.

A few hours later we set off to take the bus home. Miss Nearly-Three is tired and whiny, and begging for a breastfeed. It's time to whip out the mei tai from where it lives at the bottom of my bag. With the promise of a feed, Miss Nearly-Three lets me tie her onto my front (this is the way we both prefer it, I find my back and hips hurt when I carry her on my back). I get her settled and feeding (discretely, although that isn't actually that relevant to either of us, anymore), and feel her whole little body relax, as I once more set off to the bus stop. I kiss the top of her head, and think how lucky I am to have her.

And she'll probably fall asleep as soon as the bus is moving, which is fantastic now she rarely sleeps in the afternoon (but still needs it). She'll sleep and we'll both get a rest.

I don't wear her as much now that she is older. But there are times when it is useful. She doesn't have the strength yet to walk as far as we do. And she gets tired when we've been out all morning. That's when it is so practical to get the mei tai and get her settled. We enjoy going for walks. A while back we walked up Mount Kaukau, and Miss Nearly-Three walked all the way up herself. Then she slept on Daddy's back all the way down! And there are times, very occasionally, when she is miserable, tired, sad, clingy. That's when the mei tai comes into its right at home.

And I remember, as I watch my baby sleep, her little head resting heavily on my chest, a time, not so long ago, when she was in the mei tai much more. She had her day-time sleeps in there, at home or about, at other people's houses, on trains, buses and aeroplanes (though I preferred the Ergo on the plane). I walk a lot, and use public transport, so she was always there with me. Where I could see her, talk to her, sign to her, and see everything she saw. Sweet memories now. But also the odd long night with an inconsolable baby, and walking around in the dark with her in the mei tai until she calmed, fell asleep and we could get her back to bed. Other nights at parties, where my little girl had a blast until she got tired, and I got her settled in the mei tai. And we could enjoy the rest of the evening, with her sleeping peacefully on my chest. Not so long ago. A year ago or less.

I step off the bus, one hand on Miss Nearly-Three's head, and one on her back, and set off, up the road and up the 200 steps, and I am grateful I'm no longer dependent on the push-chair, as in my little one's early months. In a few minutes we'll be home, and Miss Nearly-Three will be rested and ready to raid the garden, have a smoothie and turn a dining chair into a climbing frame!