May is for mei tais

For anyone who missed Isa's great mei tai talk at the May slingmeet, here it is (thanks Isa!):

Kozy carrier

Our road to babywearing was long and far from straight. I made a simple woven wrap when I worked as a nanny for an 11 month old, and loved it; it made life so much easier, and I was a babywearing convert. But when my little girl was born she couldn't stand the lovely Storchenwiege wrap we'd bought for her, and it took many months before I could get her into it (usually facing out, as anything else was unacceptable to her). She still didn't like it, and getting her into it was awful. Instead, we stuck to the Mountainbuggy, until she suddenly stopped sleeping in it at 8 months. Luckily, a friend lent me her Ergo, and my baby went straight to sleep! We bought the Ergo, and it made life so much easier. But I had loved wrapping, and found that so much more comfortable. By this time, it was obvious to us that our daughter hated being restrained (she always wanted to be held, but just loosely), and the wrap was too much for her. I'd joined a Swedish babywearing forum online, and found out about mei tais there, and there were mums there who made their own mei tais. I got the pattern from one of them (it is adapted from the FrankenKozy pattern), and I adapted it a bit more, as I liked the look of the BabyHawk mei tais, with panels. This way I could get a mei tai with spreadable bands, like a woven wrap. I love the mei tai, as it takes the weight much better than the Ergo, so I can wear my 3 year old without trouble. When she was younger I used to wear her for hours, for her sleep, and we went out at night (it can look really stylish with evening wear!), and I wore her sleeping at parties. It is a lot thinner (although made with double fabric, for strength), and is therefore much cooler, which we both prefer. I also like that it takes up very little space - nowadays it lives at the bottom of my bag, and it is just really practical to always have it with us when we need it.  

Oyako mei tai

In it's simplest form, a mei tai is a rectangle of woven fabric, with a waistband attached at the bottom (like an upside down apron), and with two long bands (around 2 m long) attached to the upper corners. They have been used for hundreds of years in Asia, and are sometimes called Asian baby carriers. The fabric can vary - there are mei tais made of various materials, including corduroy and canvas, but also softer cottons. They may or may not have a hood, which can be handy to support baby's head when asleep, or to shut out light. One big benefit is that your mei tai will fit mum, dad, grandma and the nanny or babysitter, without any need for adjustments. And they are very easy to learn to use.

There are two main types of mei tais, ones with spreadable shoulder bands, which you spread out over your shoulders like a wrap, and ones with padded shoulder bands, like a back pack. I really like the spreadable bands, because it gives the carrier the very best of a woven wrap, and an SSC, like an Ergo or Manduca. With no straps or buckles, a mei tai is very comfortable (some mei tais combine a buckled waist strap with the long shoulder straps. Sometimes referred to as a half buckle carrier, these can be good if you don't like having two knots to tie).

Mei tais can be used with a newborn, but also with a toddler or much older child (a friend of mine used to carry her newborn in a stretchy wrap on her front and her big 6 yo on her back to get him home from school).  

You can wear the baby on your front, back or side. It is very easy to use, just tie the waistband around your waist, and move the panel to where you like it, pick up the baby, pulle the panel up, and toss the shoulderbands over each shoulder. Hold baby with one hand, and cross the bands over your front, back or side, depending on how you want to carry. Then pull the bands around the baby. If the baby is quite light still, you can tie around the baby's back (we did this until my daughter was over 18 months, but she was quite light weight. It is more supportive with a heavier child to cross the bands again over the child's bottom, and pull each band under each leg, and tie on the opposite side to the baby.

Hop-tye mei tai with spreadable bands

If the mei tai is made out of a more light-weight material it may over time wear out, and this may happen quicker than with a harder material. As long as you check for wear and tear before using you should be fine. Ours is quite lightweight, and we've used it all the time for nearly two years, with no issues (and we've used it a lot, as I don't drive, and we haven't used a pushchair since my daughter was 8 months old).

For those of you with DIY skills, it is quite easy to make a mei tai. You need a waisband, about 1.70 m long, padded with fleece in the middle. And two shoulder bands around 2m long - if they're spreadable they need to be about 30 cm wide, but you taper them off at the ends to tie easier. The front panel, however designed, can vary in size and shape. You can make it a bit smaller to fit just a newborn really well, or quite a bit bigger to hold a toddler or preschooler really well, or something in between, to fit most (around 40 cm high, 30-40 cm wide, preferably tapered to 30 at the bottom). At the top it can be rounded, or have square ends in various ways. You can add a hood or head support. Most important is to sew on the shoulder bands and the waistband really securely (if you do a search on mei tai patterns there are loads to choose from to suit all tastes/crafting ability).

We have several mei tais available to hire from the Babywearing Wellington carrier library:

• Little Love
• Kozy carrier
• Little Tree Baby
• Little Ruby
• Oyako

Other mei tai brands available in NZ are:

• Babyhawk
• FunkeeBabee
• KeoniSlings (wrap to mei tai conversions)
• Snugglez

And even more available from overseas vendors if you search. Some vendors may even be able to sew you a customised mei tai to your specifications. 

Happy wearing!

New to our Library - Little Tree Baby Mei Tai

One of the beautiful new carriers to our library has been donated by the wonderful and generous Sita of Little Tree Baby - a stunning Mei Tai.

One of the things that struck me about this Mei Tai was the fabric selection. The colours and patterns are absolutely gorgeous. The photo doesn't do it justice - you'll just have to see it for yourself!

When purchasing a Mei Tai, I think the fabric selection is the hardest part - so many beautiful fabrics to choose from! I think by leaving it to the expert and letting Sita choose the fabrics for us, she came up with something really creative, unique and special.

There's also the option of a waist buckle or tie. This particular Mei Tai has a buckle. A buckle means you only have one knot, but it is entirely over to personal preference. You may feel a tie is better to get the right fit for you.

This is the first time I've tried a Mei Tai, and I was surprised just how easy and comfortable it is to wear my heavy toddler in it. It was really supportive, and I quickly got the knack of tightening the shoulder ties. I loved the fact that I could fold up the Mei Tai and fit it easily into Holly's nappy bag. And, did I mention I loved the fabric? I felt rather stylish strutting around with Holly in it on my back. :)

It was also supremely easily to adjust a front carry for Holly to breastfeed in it. This is the first time I've successfully breastfed Holly in a carrier!

Thank you to Sita from Little Tree Baby for this awesome donation. We love it! You can visit the Little Tree Baby facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/LittleTree-Baby/140239479243

If you'd like to hire this gorgeous carrier, simply email us at babywearingwellington@gmail.com with your contact details, and Emma will be in touch.

Much respect,
Sarah C

Babywearing Beyond Infancy

We're Babywearing Wellington, but we've been around for well over a year now, and our babies have grown up a lot in that time so we have a bit to say about how wearing an older baby or child differs from wearing an infant and why you might want to consider it.

Emma wearing 2.5 year old Leith in a woven wrap

My son will turn 2 next week and I've been wearing him since he was a few days old. When he was little, babywearing was very useful to me, but as he got older and more aware it became a joy.

One of my favourite memories from his first year is from when he was just over 6 months old and I had him on my hip in a ring sling. We were walking through town and he was looking around at the world and then turning back to look at me with a delighted "Did you just see that?!" look on his face. It was lovely to be able to share in his developing awareness of the world, and that's one of the beautiful things about wearing babies and kids who are awake a reasonable amount of the time. They are getting to see the world from you level, where all the exciting stuff happens, where they are part of your interactions and conversations. You also get to talk to them about what you're both seeing. And, when it all gets too much, you're right there for them to snuggle into for comfort.

One of the reasons that a lot of people with small babies don't envisage wearing them when they get bigger is that they think they're going to be too heavy. My son is about 14kg, so he probably looks gigantic to those with little babies. If someone were to wear him for the first time now they'd probably struggle a bit, but I started wearing him when he was 3kg and have been wearing him as he's grown, so my strength has built. It is a pretty good workout, to be honest. I can no longer wear him all day, but he wouldn't let me, anyway.

These days I don't wear him much around home, but he does sometimes get pretty clingy when he's tired, sick or teething and wearing him allows me to get things done while also minimising tantrums and meltdowns.

Many parents still find it helpful to wear their toddlers to help them get to sleep, but unfortunately it's incredibly rare for me to be able to successfully transfer him out of the carrier onto the bed. He'll occasionally nap on me when we're out, but I'll admit that that is rather tough on me physically, so I try to avoid it.

More often I wear him in public.

He likes to walk places these days, but he gets tired easily so it's great to have a carrier in the bag for when he decides to sit down in the middle of the pavement. It's a lot easier to cart around "just in case" than pushing an empty stroller (unless you're picking up groceries, in which case a pram can be pretty handy). We use public transport a lot so I definitely don't want to wrestle a stroller on and off the bus when we might not even need it.

It's also great for when he refuses to hold my hand and I don't want him running off. I can put him on my back or I've been known to tie one end of a wrap around his waist and use it as a leash!

Many carriers are suitable for carrying larger kids but ones that can be used for back carries are ideal. Carrying a heavier child on the front of your body can be very tough on your back, and as they get taller they are more in your way as you have to reach around them and peer over them!

There are two common kinds of carrier I wouldn’t recommend for carrying larger babies, neither of which are suitable for back carries. Mainstream frontpacks are designed for babies up to a year old but many find them uncomfortable well before then. Stretchy wraps tend to sag a bit with a heavier child and are rarely wide enough to support the back of a taller kid.

SSCs such as the Ergo or Manduca are a popular choice and most of them have a weight limit of about 20kg, which could be around 4 years or older. They're also quite quick to get on and off so can be good for a kid who wants to get up and down a lot or for putting them in it quickly when you're out on the street.

We have started using a Mei Tai recently and have been enjoying it. It's not quite as quick to put on as an SSC but it's easy to wear higher up to let the wee bloke see over my shoulder and it folds up smaller than our SSC if we're carrying it "just in case".

Our personal favourite is the woven wrap. I learned to do back wraps from Emma about a year ago and it's been brilliant. It was a bit of a learning curve but we soon got proficient with rucksack carries and I can quickly get M high up on my back where he can see the world, talk to me, kiss me and rub food in my hair. We find our Storchenwiege particularly supportive and I feel very confident about carrying him in it, despite his ever increasing weight, as the fact that it is one piece of fabric means that there is no stitching to possibly break or come undone.

Though one shoulder slings like ring or pouch slings can be quite tough for long periods with a heavier child they certainly make things easier on your arms for quick carries. They fold up small to fit in a bag and they're quick to pop a child in and out of, so can be a good option to have around for your toddlerwearing emergencies.

Tips for Successful Babywearing - The Early Days

You've done the research, bought the sling and are completely committed to wearing your baby. So what does a new sling mumma do if their baby doesn't seem to 'like' being worn?

We've all experienced some degree of difficulty in those early days of babywearing, so here's a few ideas for successfully working through those hard times, and wearing your beautiful newborn successfully and safely. These tips are based on our own experiences of those early days of babywearing, and what we did to overcome our own personal hurdles.

- Practice the different carries first with a teddy or doll. The doll won't wriggle or cry like a newborn baby might, but the practice will set you in good stead for when the baby comes along. This is particularly important with a wrap sling, so you can understand the body mechanics required for wrapping your baby.

- Practice putting your baby in the sling when she isn't too tired or hungry. Often people use slings as a last resort as a sleeping tool (I certainly did!), with first attempt when baby is completely overtired. This may mean that the experience of getting baby into the sling is traumatic both for the wearer and baby - it is no surprise that many people give up if this happens a lot.

- Have your partner, friend or relative be a support person when putting your baby in the sling. Your support person can assist hugely by boosting your confidence and keeping you calm while you put the baby in the sling. They can also assist with the more difficult wrapping techniques. However, you may find that once you get your wrapping mojo, an extra pair of hands can be more of a hindrance than help.

- Enlist the help of an expert, preferably in person. Babywearing Wellington committee members are available to give advice whenever you need it. We also hold monthly slingmeets, which are a brilliant place to get some help and practice the different carries.

- Don't be rushed. Take your time to get the carry right and don't be afraid to start again from scratch if you need to. 

- Try different carrier types. Sometimes a baby won't enjoy a wrap sling, but will love, love, love a mei tai! Sometimes the wearer will find a certain sling type or brand uncomfortable, but finds another type or brand to be the perfect fit. The Babywearing Wellington Sling Library gives you the opportunity to 'try before you buy'. We have a range of sling types and brands that might just be perfect for you.

- Be patient and keep trying if it doesn't work the first time. It may also help to have a break and come back to it again later (after a nice cup of tea and a well deserved piece of cake!).

The most important thing is to feel comfortable asking for help if you need it. We are a phone call or email away, and are ready and willing to help you with any aspect of Babywearing. Don't hesitate even for a second to reach out to us. :)

Kia Kaha,

The Babywearing Wellington Team

On the road with Miss Nearly-Three

by Isa

“I like the bus” says Miss Nearly-Three as we walk to the bus stop. “You don't have to click me in on the bus”.

And I agree with her. The bus is great. As it turns up around the corner Miss Nearly-Three starts waving. And then she greets the bus driver with a cheerful “Hello”, before racing along to find just the seat for her.

A few hours later we set off to take the bus home. Miss Nearly-Three is tired and whiny, and begging for a breastfeed. It's time to whip out the mei tai from where it lives at the bottom of my bag. With the promise of a feed, Miss Nearly-Three lets me tie her onto my front (this is the way we both prefer it, I find my back and hips hurt when I carry her on my back). I get her settled and feeding (discretely, although that isn't actually that relevant to either of us, anymore), and feel her whole little body relax, as I once more set off to the bus stop. I kiss the top of her head, and think how lucky I am to have her.

And she'll probably fall asleep as soon as the bus is moving, which is fantastic now she rarely sleeps in the afternoon (but still needs it). She'll sleep and we'll both get a rest.

I don't wear her as much now that she is older. But there are times when it is useful. She doesn't have the strength yet to walk as far as we do. And she gets tired when we've been out all morning. That's when it is so practical to get the mei tai and get her settled. We enjoy going for walks. A while back we walked up Mount Kaukau, and Miss Nearly-Three walked all the way up herself. Then she slept on Daddy's back all the way down! And there are times, very occasionally, when she is miserable, tired, sad, clingy. That's when the mei tai comes into its right at home.

And I remember, as I watch my baby sleep, her little head resting heavily on my chest, a time, not so long ago, when she was in the mei tai much more. She had her day-time sleeps in there, at home or about, at other people's houses, on trains, buses and aeroplanes (though I preferred the Ergo on the plane). I walk a lot, and use public transport, so she was always there with me. Where I could see her, talk to her, sign to her, and see everything she saw. Sweet memories now. But also the odd long night with an inconsolable baby, and walking around in the dark with her in the mei tai until she calmed, fell asleep and we could get her back to bed. Other nights at parties, where my little girl had a blast until she got tired, and I got her settled in the mei tai. And we could enjoy the rest of the evening, with her sleeping peacefully on my chest. Not so long ago. A year ago or less.

I step off the bus, one hand on Miss Nearly-Three's head, and one on her back, and set off, up the road and up the 200 steps, and I am grateful I'm no longer dependent on the push-chair, as in my little one's early months. In a few minutes we'll be home, and Miss Nearly-Three will be rested and ready to raid the garden, have a smoothie and turn a dining chair into a climbing frame!

Kozy Love

It must be love!

Today I met in person Helen from Aquabub to chat and receive the Kozy Carrier she is lending Babywearing Aotearoa for our sling library.

I'm am really impressed with this carrier. I'm not sure what it is that makes this Mei Tei different, but man, it is comfortable. Its less padded then I imagined and instead is made from a sturdy cotton. The ties are nice and grippy and don't need to be tight around your waist (so no flab roll!). It would be nice if they were a bit wider through the shoulder and back to make it even more comfortable, but still, thumbs up from me!

It's a joy to feed it. Evelyn looked so comfortable nursing and fell asleep in it tonight. Tomorrow I will test it out on a bush walk and I need to find a small baby to try it on! I'm really enjoying gaining the experience of different carriers and can't wait to share the love with our soon to be members!

So, for a library update.

At this months committee meeting we decided to set a deadline to have the library up and running. This will be our August slingmeet. It does seem far away, and I'm sorry! We have set roles together, and I'm the librarian, and am flat out this month. We really want to have a strong grounding to avoid any possible miss-haps before lending carriers.

So far we have:

2 Unido pouch slings (S and M) donated from Unido

1 Kozy Carrier on loan from Aaquabub

I cant thank you two enough for your support!

Beth